Amo el sombrero gigante, los lentes, el "no-me-miren" y por favor TÓMENME de mi mejor perfil, en fin...
Les traigo algo mejor, The Times... realmente, los amo. No puedo creer que publicaron esto.
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At home with Harry and Meghan — coming to Netflix soon? As part of their deal with the streaming giant, cameras have been following the Duke and Duchess around. Hilary Rose imagines how the shoot is going.
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are reported to be filming a fly-on-the-wall docuseries about their new life in California. As part of a rumoured $100 million deal with Netflix, cameras have followed them as they made a speech in New York and visited the Hague for the Invictus Games. Netflix is also expected to film them later this month when they visit London for the Platinum Jubliee celebrations. Meanwhile, back in California, Hilary Rose imagines how the shoot is going.
Scene one: the Sussex kitchen in Montecito. A lighting production meeting.
Meghan stands at a vast white-marble island unit, dressed in shades of ethically sourced organic linen flown in express overnight from Italy.
“Hazza, hon, can you stand over there? No, a bit further. Further, just next to the door will be perfect, the light over there is amazing! Maybe just outside it? Can you shut it behind you? Great! Love you!”
“Action!” the director shouts. Meghan turns to camera and smoulders, but in a natural, duchess-next-door kind of way that she’s been practising in the mirror. “So,” she begins.
“Amazing start, Meghan!” the director says. “The Kardashians always start their conversations with ‘so’ and look how rich and famous they are.”
“It’s actually Duchess Meghan,” Meghan says. “I don’t care about titles, of course, unless they’re my own. So. Shall we?”
The director glances towards Harry, who is meditating in the yard with a chicken on his head.
“He’s fine out there,” Meghan says. “Trust me. So. What we really like to do here in Montecito is keep it real for our children, who are of course both great grandchildren of Her Majesty, who is very dear to us, so it is unfortunate that we have to keep slagging off the entire royal family to keep ourselves in the public eye, but, well, what are you going to do?”
“Stop?” the runner murmurs.
Meghan continues: “Our goal was always to make a
modern royal family, as we said on the cover of our book. Because we are pathologically truthful we’ve now decided to do the opposite and make an alternative royal family, with none of the boring bits, and me at the front, in the middle, every time.”
“Isn’t that where the Queen stands?” the director says.
“I’m hotter,” Meghan says. “So today we’re also going to talk about my organisation, Archewell.”
“Isn’t it Harry’s too?”
“Whatever. Archewell is about shared purpose and global action. We are an impact-driven global non-profit that puts compassion into action. . .”
“Nobody cares,” the director says. “Could you get to the Cambridges?”
“As I told the Queen, who I deeply respect and honour, we can all live a life of service,” Meghan continues. “Our own preference is for the sort of service that leads to personal enrichment and a mansion in California. Also, did I mention the oat-milk latte company we invested in?”
“Nobody cares,” the director says. “Remind me when you’re flying to London for the jubilee?”
“Soon,” Meghan says.
“You’ll be seeing the Cambridges, right?” the director says. “I’m thinking playdates at Kensington Palace. Sandcastles with George and Charlotte on the beach in Norfolk.”
“Our people are working on it,” Meghan says. “Failing that, you can totally have us with Beatrice and Eugenie and their kids at Frogmore Cottage.”
“Who?” the director says. “A cottage? Let me think about that. Yup, nobody cares. We paid you $100 million. What else you got? I”m thinking carriage rides, balconies, those cute toy soldiers in red coats and big hats . . .”
“Our people are working on it,” Meghan says. “We’re NFI to Trooping the Colour, but we can always hire a carriage and just tag along behind. I mean, what are they going to do?”
“But we’re definitely invited to something at St Paul’s.”
“Is that a branch of Soho House?” the director says. “Sounds good. What’s the lighting like?”
“It’s a cathedral,” Meghan says. [Director wilts.] “It’s a service of something, doesn’t matter, I forget what.”
“To give thanks for the Queen’s 70-year reign of devoted public service?” the runner murmurs.
“So. Archie will walk up the steps holding Harry’s hand and looking 100 per cent the all-American prince that is his birthright, but which those vicious nasty people at the Palace cruelly denied him. And I’ll be holding Lilibet on my hip, in an adorable manner that will accentuate my natural curves and general hotness while also not creasing my dress.”
“Perfect,” the director says. “And the Cambridges?”
“Archewell,” Meghan says, firmly. “During Covid we said everyone should have access to a vaccine, and now we’ve said that what’s happening in Ukraine is really bad. Compassion in action, right?”
“Right,” the director says. “Remind me. This trip back to London for the jubilee jamboree. You and Harry said you wanted a life of privacy, right?
“Whatever,” Meghan says, waving a hand. “I may have misremembered. It happens. Turns out privacy doesn’t work if you’re trying to monetise the man you married.”
“Quite so,” the director says, brightening. “Speaking of which: the Cambridges? Playdates at the Palace?”
“Harry’s still out there,” the runner says, to no one in particular.
“Should we get him in? See what he thinks?’
Meghan shrugs. “It’ll soon be time for his nap.”
“He seems to be juggling commemorative china from your wedding,” the runner murmurs. “There’s a huge box with ‘UNWANTED STOCK’ stamped on it. I wonder if the Cambridges shipped them over?”
“Did somebody mention the Cambridges?” the director says. “Where? Are they next to the Queen?”
“Right behind me, front and centre,” Meghan says. “You just wait.”
***
Link:
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/at-h ... -2s9v3qkqvLes juro que casi me hago pis de la risa...